1
00:00:01,930 --> 00:00:03,830
GIRL:
Four, three, two, one!

2
00:00:03,930 --> 00:00:09,250
[ rock music playing]

3
00:00:09,350 --> 00:00:12,280
♪ Every birthday,
my mom and dad would say ♪

4
00:00:12,390 --> 00:00:15,150
♪ "You're another year older,
another year wiser" ♪

5
00:00:15,250 --> 00:00:17,840
♪ But I still go to school

6
00:00:17,940 --> 00:00:19,430
♪ To get an education

7
00:00:19,530 --> 00:00:21,220
♪ I treat each and every day

8
00:00:21,330 --> 00:00:22,160
♪ Like a mini vacation

9
00:00:22,260 --> 00:00:23,160
♪ All grown up!

10
00:00:23,260 --> 00:00:26,330
♪ I really want
to shout it out ♪

11
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:27,880
♪ All grown up!

12
00:00:27,990 --> 00:00:29,820
♪ I want the world to know

13
00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:31,060
♪ All grown up!

14
00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:33,240
♪ I really want
to shout it out ♪

15
00:00:33,340 --> 00:00:34,270
♪ All grown up

16
00:00:34,370 --> 00:00:37,100
♪ With you

17
00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:38,070
♪ All grown up with...

18
00:00:38,170 --> 00:00:42,800
♪ you.

19
00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:02,230
Uh, that's
okay, Mom--

20
00:01:02,330 --> 00:01:05,130
you could have dropped me
back there.

21
00:01:05,230 --> 00:01:08,300
Nonsense, there's a spot
right by the curb.

22
00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:11,960
Uh!

23
00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:17,970
I could have let myself out.

24
00:01:18,070 --> 00:01:19,520
Please.

25
00:01:19,630 --> 00:01:20,900
You want to look your best

26
00:01:21,010 --> 00:01:23,700
for your girlfriend,
don't you?

27
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:24,980
Mom!

28
00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:26,600
There's Rachel now.

29
00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:29,670
Bye, Mom!

30
00:01:29,770 --> 00:01:31,260
Don't forget
Susie's party after.

31
00:01:33,230 --> 00:01:34,260
Kiss.

32
00:01:34,370 --> 00:01:35,750
[ groans]

33
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:40,750
Hey, Tommy.

34
00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:41,890
New look?

35
00:01:41,990 --> 00:01:44,000
Ugh!

36
00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:45,030
[ honks horn]

37
00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:52,800
[ marching band playing on TV]

38
00:01:52,900 --> 00:01:54,040
LIL:
Wow, Susie--

39
00:01:54,140 --> 00:01:55,250
being chosen to sing

40
00:01:55,350 --> 00:01:58,770
in the Gracy's Day Parade
in New York City.

41
00:01:58,870 --> 00:01:59,800
This is big.

42
00:01:59,910 --> 00:02:01,530
Bigger than big.

43
00:02:01,630 --> 00:02:04,910
This is as big as Dummy Bear's
head from last year's parade.

44
00:02:07,230 --> 00:02:09,810
Sometimes I can't believe it.

45
00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:13,650
I am representing the
American Cheese Council.

46
00:02:13,750 --> 00:02:15,270
[ sighs]

47
00:02:15,370 --> 00:02:17,270
Did you know cheese
represents .02%

48
00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:19,310
of our gross national product?

49
00:02:19,410 --> 00:02:20,310
Uh, no.

50
00:02:20,410 --> 00:02:21,340
Really?

51
00:02:21,450 --> 00:02:23,310
Fascinating.

52
00:02:24,450 --> 00:02:26,380
Did you know that,
Angelica?

53
00:02:27,630 --> 00:02:29,210
I'm sorry,
I wasn't listening.

54
00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:30,970
I was just admiring
my cuticles.

55
00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:32,530
Aren't they lovely?

56
00:02:32,630 --> 00:02:33,560
Aah!

57
00:02:33,670 --> 00:02:34,390
Oops.

58
00:02:34,490 --> 00:02:35,250
You did that
on purpose.

59
00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:37,910
Did not.

60
00:02:38,010 --> 00:02:41,670
Only I wish you guys could all
come to New York to cheer me on.

61
00:02:41,780 --> 00:02:42,710
New York City?

62
00:02:42,810 --> 00:02:44,750
That sure would
take the sting out

63
00:02:44,850 --> 00:02:47,330
of narrowly missing the chance
to sing in the parade.

64
00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:48,650
Narrowly?

65
00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:51,240
You didn't even make it
past the first audition.

66
00:02:51,340 --> 00:02:52,310
Aah!

67
00:02:52,410 --> 00:02:53,690
Were you talking
to me?

68
00:02:53,790 --> 00:02:55,170
Might as well forget
New York.

69
00:02:55,270 --> 00:02:56,210
No way that's
happening.

70
00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:59,210
Take the kids
to New York City?

71
00:02:59,310 --> 00:03:00,730
Why not?

72
00:03:00,830 --> 00:03:02,940
We're not using the plane
tickets the parade gave us.

73
00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:05,390
But it still wouldn't cover
all of us going.

74
00:03:05,490 --> 00:03:08,670
What if it was just
the moms and kids?

75
00:03:08,770 --> 00:03:11,700
According to the Lipshitz book
Tweens: From Angel to Enemy,

76
00:03:11,810 --> 00:03:13,640
this could be our last chance

77
00:03:13,740 --> 00:03:15,850
to get close
to our adorable children

78
00:03:15,950 --> 00:03:19,400
before they turn into sulking,
bloodsucking ciphers.

79
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:22,850
Well, if it's a bonding
experience you want,

80
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:24,200
why fly?

81
00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:26,170
Why not see the country
the way I did--

82
00:03:26,270 --> 00:03:28,440
from the road?

83
00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:33,280
Hang on tight, Butch.

84
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:35,930
[ revs engine]

85
00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:38,210
[ tire squeals]

86
00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:40,350
That's a great
idea, Betty.

87
00:03:40,460 --> 00:03:42,800
We could drive
cross country.

88
00:03:42,910 --> 00:03:44,220
You in, Charlotte?

89
00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:45,740
Huh! Are you kidding?

90
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:49,430
I haven't driven across country
since I was a college gal.

91
00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:55,020
Hang on tight, Butch.

92
00:03:55,130 --> 00:03:56,540
[ revs engine]

93
00:03:56,650 --> 00:03:58,470
[ tire squeals]

94
00:04:00,550 --> 00:04:02,000
Guess what?

95
00:04:02,100 --> 00:04:06,140
We just decided to take
all of you to New York City

96
00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:08,000
to see Susie sing!

97
00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:10,620
[ cheering]

98
00:04:11,380 --> 00:04:12,560
What's going on?

99
00:04:12,660 --> 00:04:15,110
We'll all going to see
the Gracy Day Parade.

100
00:04:15,220 --> 00:04:16,320
No way!

101
00:04:16,420 --> 00:04:17,530
That's wicked awesome.

102
00:04:17,630 --> 00:04:19,050
So, how are we getting there?

103
00:04:19,150 --> 00:04:20,740
First-class airfare?

104
00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:22,290
Staying at swanky hotels?

105
00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:23,950
Better!

106
00:04:24,050 --> 00:04:25,850
We're taking an R.V.!

107
00:04:27,370 --> 00:04:29,330
You've got
to be kidding.

108
00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:33,720
Just you and your mothers
for a whole week!

109
00:04:33,820 --> 00:04:34,720
Wicked.

110
00:04:34,820 --> 00:04:35,790
Cheese!

111
00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:45,870
Sweet.

112
00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:52,050
Guys!

113
00:04:52,150 --> 00:04:54,740
The bathroom has a spa tub!

114
00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:59,640
I am finally beginning to
understand the pioneer spirit.

115
00:05:01,090 --> 00:05:02,120
I wonder what this does.

116
00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:19,800
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!

117
00:05:23,530 --> 00:05:24,560
Check it out.

118
00:05:24,660 --> 00:05:26,290
We can see
where we're going

119
00:05:26,390 --> 00:05:27,940
and where we've been
at the same time!

120
00:05:28,050 --> 00:05:30,530
I've been training myself
to do that for a whole year!

121
00:05:37,190 --> 00:05:38,710
Uh, Angelica?

122
00:05:41,370 --> 00:05:42,480
Thanks.

123
00:05:42,580 --> 00:05:43,960
DIL:
You know,
I'm kind of surprised

124
00:05:44,060 --> 00:05:45,340
you wanted to come
on this trip,

125
00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:46,480
what with Susie getting

126
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:48,200
so much nationally
televised face time

127
00:05:48,310 --> 00:05:52,000
and you still being
basically, you know, a nobody.

128
00:05:52,110 --> 00:05:53,000
Please, Dil.

129
00:05:53,110 --> 00:05:54,940
Susie is my friend,

130
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,250
and I'd feel terrible
if something awful

131
00:05:57,350 --> 00:06:00,360
prevented her
from performing
in the parade.

132
00:06:01,530 --> 00:06:04,080
[ bang; groan]

133
00:06:04,190 --> 00:06:05,120
Oh...!

134
00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:08,050
I thought you were...

135
00:06:10,050 --> 00:06:11,500
Never mind.

136
00:06:11,610 --> 00:06:13,060
Okay, show's over.

137
00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:14,020
Let's get rolling.

138
00:06:14,130 --> 00:06:15,580
We have an early start
tomorrow.

139
00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:17,340
And I mean early.

140
00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:18,860
[ crickets chirping]

141
00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:23,790
[ all yawning]

142
00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:26,690
[ cell phone ringing]

143
00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:32,210
[ cheers]

144
00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:34,560
That was Betty, everyone.

145
00:06:34,670 --> 00:06:37,390
She's on her way
with the R.V. right now.

146
00:06:41,220 --> 00:06:43,120
I'll miss you.

147
00:06:43,230 --> 00:06:44,640
Me, too.

148
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:47,950
Tommy!

149
00:06:48,060 --> 00:06:49,330
Did you go to
the little boys' room?

150
00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:51,160
We're leaving.

151
00:06:54,890 --> 00:06:55,960
Wow.

152
00:06:58,900 --> 00:07:00,590
Did you see that?

153
00:07:00,690 --> 00:07:01,690
Did you?

154
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,280
She kissed him--

155
00:07:03,380 --> 00:07:04,940
on the mouth
and everything.

156
00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:07,350
Of all the things
that have touched my lips,

157
00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:10,670
the thought of someone else's
never even occurred to me.

158
00:07:10,770 --> 00:07:16,290
I'm repelled...
and yet oddly intrigued.

159
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:17,360
But I'm 13 months,

160
00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:20,060
three weeks and five days
older than Tommy

161
00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:22,890
and no girl has ever
planted one on me.

162
00:07:22,990 --> 00:07:25,060
It's never gonna
to happen for me, Phil.

163
00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:27,480
No girl's ever gonna
to want to kiss me.

164
00:07:27,580 --> 00:07:29,170
You don't know that.

165
00:07:29,270 --> 00:07:30,650
This is
a big country.

166
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:33,480
I'm sure somewhere
out there there's a girl

167
00:07:33,590 --> 00:07:35,970
who won't find you
freakishly repulsive.

168
00:07:37,140 --> 00:07:38,830
You think?

169
00:07:38,940 --> 00:07:41,660
[ horn honking "La Cucaracha"
theme, engine rattling ]

170
00:07:45,810 --> 00:07:49,330
[ brakes squealing,
engine clunking]

171
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:56,130
[ window creaking]

172
00:07:56,230 --> 00:08:00,890
BETTY:
Feast your sockets on
the Itex American Cruise Deluxe.

173
00:08:00,990 --> 00:08:04,690
What happened to the nice,
tasteful Cascade Supreme?

174
00:08:05,580 --> 00:08:06,550
Sold out.

175
00:08:06,650 --> 00:08:09,170
Besides, I got twice the size

176
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,900
for half the price.

177
00:08:16,110 --> 00:08:17,320
Come on in.

178
00:08:17,420 --> 00:08:18,980
Oh, and
don't worry

179
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:21,080
about that moldy
bathing suit smell--

180
00:08:21,190 --> 00:08:21,940
she'll air out.

181
00:08:22,050 --> 00:08:25,120
Um, well, it is roomy.

182
00:08:25,220 --> 00:08:28,230
Yeah, it...
it'll still be fun.

183
00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:32,160
Guys, did you see this?

184
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:35,130
CHUCKIE:
"I am crud"?

185
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:39,860
[ laughing]

186
00:08:49,390 --> 00:08:51,420
BETTY:
Ah, the open road.

187
00:08:51,530 --> 00:08:52,910
According to Lipshitz,

188
00:08:53,010 --> 00:08:55,530
this could be our last
great bonding experience

189
00:08:55,630 --> 00:08:57,120
with the kids, Betty.

190
00:08:57,220 --> 00:09:01,020
I don't want to miss one natural
wonder or cultural highlight.

191
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:03,020
Ah, just as long
as we make good time--

192
00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:05,610
we got a whole country
to cross in five days.

193
00:09:05,710 --> 00:09:09,100
DIDI:
My, that isa lot of driving.

194
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:13,410
That's why I brought along
my own personal blend of beans.

195
00:09:13,510 --> 00:09:15,720
I call it "Betty Blast."

196
00:09:15,830 --> 00:09:16,650
A couple of slugs of this...

197
00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:18,590
[ slurps]

198
00:09:18,690 --> 00:09:19,830
[ shudders]

199
00:09:19,930 --> 00:09:21,560
and I'm good to go!

200
00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:22,630
[ groaning]

201
00:09:22,730 --> 00:09:24,660
Betty, I'm not feeling so good.

202
00:09:24,770 --> 00:09:29,120
I think it was the burrito
we had for lunch.

203
00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:32,600
Nonsense-- you always find
the best roadside chow

204
00:09:32,710 --> 00:09:34,570
at diners/
car washes.

205
00:09:34,670 --> 00:09:36,160
[ groans]

206
00:09:36,260 --> 00:09:37,400
[ heaving]

207
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,020
[ retching]

208
00:09:41,130 --> 00:09:43,790
I'll be sure
to write that down.

209
00:09:43,890 --> 00:09:46,340
Lil, are you gonna dribble
that ball

210
00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:47,960
all the way
to New York City?

211
00:09:48,070 --> 00:09:48,820
Mm-hmm.

212
00:09:48,930 --> 00:09:50,030
Eighty-seven...

213
00:09:50,140 --> 00:09:52,000
I'm going for
the book of world records.

214
00:09:52,100 --> 00:09:53,550
All I have to do is keep
this ball off the ground

215
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:59,350
and Alvin Fremont's 1998 Sydney-
to-Melbourne record is dust.

216
00:10:00,530 --> 00:10:02,220
War.

217
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:04,670
I wish we had that R.V.
with the plasma screen

218
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:06,950
and 600 channels
of satellite TV.

219
00:10:07,050 --> 00:10:09,220
The moms wouldn't let us
watch it anyway.

220
00:10:09,330 --> 00:10:12,640
Remember the Lipshitz rule:
no electronic devices.

221
00:10:12,750 --> 00:10:14,190
No cell phones, computer games--

222
00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:19,270
nothing but long stretches
of open road to numb our minds.

223
00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:23,790
♪ When I was
a little tyke ♪

224
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:27,140
♪ I thought there was
one kind of cheese ♪

225
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:31,040
♪ Cheese, cheese, cheese,
cheese, cheese... ♪

226
00:10:32,450 --> 00:10:34,490
[ retching]

227
00:10:34,590 --> 00:10:36,700
Talk about mind-numbing.

228
00:10:37,910 --> 00:10:39,460
Boy, are you guys
sticks in the mud.

229
00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:40,950
This trip's gonna be epic.

230
00:10:41,050 --> 00:10:42,220
You want to know why?

231
00:10:42,330 --> 00:10:44,880
Because this is
the Southwest, my friend,

232
00:10:44,980 --> 00:10:47,470
home of UFO crashes,
nuclear test sites,

233
00:10:47,570 --> 00:10:50,920
frozen alien bodies
hidden in government hangars--

234
00:10:51,020 --> 00:10:52,470
along with all my missing socks.

235
00:10:52,580 --> 00:10:56,200
We are talking the freaky
capital of the freaky world!

236
00:10:56,310 --> 00:10:57,650
And I say...

237
00:10:57,760 --> 00:10:59,240
Look-- Bigfoot!

238
00:11:01,310 --> 00:11:02,350
Nix that.

239
00:11:02,450 --> 00:11:03,660
Just a really hairy guy
with his shirt off.

240
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:05,730
[ retching]

241
00:11:05,830 --> 00:11:06,760
Maybe Dil's right.

242
00:11:06,870 --> 00:11:08,420
I'm getting down
on this trip

243
00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:09,870
before we've
even started.

244
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:12,840
Hey, look what I pulled
off the 'Net.

245
00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:16,770
"The 100 Most Upchuckingest
Thrill Rides In America"?

246
00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:20,090
And we'll be passing
at least half of them.

247
00:11:20,190 --> 00:11:21,190
Aah!

248
00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:23,090
Okay, everybody.

249
00:11:23,190 --> 00:11:24,400
First stop.

250
00:11:24,510 --> 00:11:25,890
What is it, Mom?

251
00:11:25,990 --> 00:11:27,410
Queasy Canyons?

252
00:11:27,510 --> 00:11:29,060
Whiplash Willows?

253
00:11:29,170 --> 00:11:30,480
Even better.

254
00:11:30,580 --> 00:11:34,690
Welcome to Clifford, California,
onion capital of the West!

255
00:11:34,790 --> 00:11:36,930
The onion was first brought here

256
00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:40,560
by Klabner Maxwell in 1846
from the Canary Islands.

257
00:11:40,660 --> 00:11:43,560
[ all sniffling]

258
00:11:43,660 --> 00:11:45,530
It's the onions,
right?

259
00:11:45,630 --> 00:11:50,120
No, I'm just
bored to tears!

260
00:11:50,220 --> 00:11:51,330
Now, follow me

261
00:11:51,430 --> 00:11:54,260
and we'll be entering
our gift shop.

262
00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:57,300
Don't touch
anything, kids.

263
00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:07,070
[ rumbling]

264
00:12:08,650 --> 00:12:11,100
[ all sniffling]

265
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:13,940
[ blowing noses]

266
00:12:21,050 --> 00:12:22,940
Watch the Finster magic
at work.

267
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,570
CHUCKIE:
Hi.

268
00:12:26,670 --> 00:12:28,470
Hi.

269
00:12:28,570 --> 00:12:29,710
Have you been
eating onions?

270
00:12:29,810 --> 00:12:32,090
Oh!

271
00:12:33,130 --> 00:12:34,090
Ow!

272
00:12:34,990 --> 00:12:38,030
Okay, everybody--
photo op!

273
00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:40,650
TOUR GUIDE:
One...

274
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:41,620
PHIL:
Hey, look!

275
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:42,620
GUIDE:Two...

276
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:43,720
A flattened lizard!

277
00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:44,720
Three.

278
00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:45,620
[ camera shutter clicks]

279
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:51,490
MAN:
Welcome to the world's
widest Christmas tree.

280
00:12:51,590 --> 00:12:53,460
[ camera shutters clicking]

281
00:12:56,630 --> 00:12:57,940
[ camera whirring]

282
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,190
Dil, don't touch.

283
00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:11,860
SUSIE'S MOM:
Isn't it wonderful

284
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:14,200
how well our girls
have been getting along?

285
00:13:14,310 --> 00:13:15,820
I know-- Angelica
hasn't shown

286
00:13:15,930 --> 00:13:18,070
one hint of jealousy
about the parade.

287
00:13:32,670 --> 00:13:34,290
[ door lock clicking]

288
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:36,470
Hey, Susie!

289
00:13:36,570 --> 00:13:37,780
You locked the door!

290
00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:40,090
[ R.V. starting up]
!
Susie?

291
00:13:40,190 --> 00:13:42,580
Susie?

292
00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:43,680
[ squeakily]:
Susie?

293
00:13:51,860 --> 00:13:54,790
486, 487...

294
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:57,210
488... 489...

295
00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:01,080
TOMMY:
Hey, Mom, why can't
we go do that?

296
00:14:01,180 --> 00:14:03,040
You'd hurt yourself.

297
00:14:03,150 --> 00:14:06,390
Besides, you can do
cheap thrill rides anywhere.

298
00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:07,770
Where else
but in Needleston, Nevada,

299
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:11,710
could you have seen
the world's biggest
ball of string?

300
00:14:14,850 --> 00:14:16,710
[ people shouting]

301
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:22,580
Oh, no!

302
00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:23,720
[ man shouting]

303
00:14:23,820 --> 00:14:25,720
[ sobbing]:
No... no, not that!

304
00:14:43,570 --> 00:14:46,810
It's official:
This trip is a bust.

305
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:47,850
LIL:
Four hours

306
00:14:47,950 --> 00:14:50,060
in the Museum
of the Mayonnaise?

307
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:52,920
When do we get to do
what we want to do?

308
00:14:53,030 --> 00:14:53,890
PHIL:
Snakeskin...

309
00:14:53,990 --> 00:14:56,060
possum tails, squirrel bones...

310
00:14:56,170 --> 00:14:58,030
What is that?

311
00:14:58,130 --> 00:14:59,310
It's my collection.

312
00:14:59,410 --> 00:15:01,860
I'm so bored I'm
exploring my interest

313
00:15:01,970 --> 00:15:05,040
as a budding naturalist...

314
00:15:05,140 --> 00:15:07,490
or a chef.

315
00:15:07,590 --> 00:15:09,460
Ew!

316
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,460
What is it with moms, anyway?

317
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,080
Why do they have to be
all over us all the time?

318
00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:15,290
Yeah, what's with
all these photographs?

319
00:15:15,390 --> 00:15:18,290
And the "don't touch anythings"?

320
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:21,540
And why are they always coming
at you with their spit?

321
00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:23,540
On your face, in your hair...

322
00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:27,090
I'd get grounded for
spitting on someone's hair.

323
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:29,510
When's my mom gonna realize
I'm grown up?

324
00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:32,440
DIL:
I don't know.

325
00:15:32,550 --> 00:15:34,240
I kind of like it
when Mom wipes my face

326
00:15:34,340 --> 00:15:35,960
with a saliva-
soaked tissue.

327
00:15:36,070 --> 00:15:39,310
It's like a warm,
wet "I love you."

328
00:15:39,420 --> 00:15:40,970
[ zipper unzipping]

329
00:15:41,070 --> 00:15:42,630
I was over at the bathrooms,

330
00:15:42,730 --> 00:15:45,150
and guess who I found digging
in the garbage?

331
00:15:45,250 --> 00:15:47,700
Hey, I was here
the whole time.

332
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:48,840
[ barking]

333
00:15:48,940 --> 00:15:50,250
I went to every campsite,
and no one knew him.

334
00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:51,700
He must be abandoned.

335
00:15:51,810 --> 00:15:53,640
The moms said
you could keep him?

336
00:15:53,740 --> 00:15:56,640
No way-- so I figure
I'll sneak him.

337
00:15:56,740 --> 00:15:57,950
Come on, Pumpkin.

338
00:15:58,060 --> 00:15:59,880
[ panting]

339
00:15:59,990 --> 00:16:01,470
Well, one good thing:

340
00:16:01,580 --> 00:16:04,100
We're out here in the fresh air
and not stuck in the Crudinator.

341
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:05,130
Yep.

342
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:06,100
You said it.

343
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:08,030
You bet.

344
00:16:08,130 --> 00:16:09,890
[ insect buzzing]

345
00:16:12,410 --> 00:16:17,730
[ slapping; kids shouting]

346
00:16:29,910 --> 00:16:30,740
[ yawning]

347
00:16:30,850 --> 00:16:32,920
Ah... up and at...!

348
00:16:33,020 --> 00:16:34,570
Oh, mother of mayhem!

349
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:37,300
[ dog growling, barking]

350
00:16:43,550 --> 00:16:44,520
Aah! My collection!

351
00:16:44,620 --> 00:16:47,970
Don't you dare,
you little fleabag!

352
00:16:50,180 --> 00:16:51,320
[ barks]

353
00:16:51,420 --> 00:16:52,700
[ growls]

354
00:16:54,630 --> 00:16:56,460
[ laughing nervously]

355
00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:58,910
[ R.V. chugging]

356
00:16:59,010 --> 00:17:00,150
[ bolt clinking]

357
00:17:00,260 --> 00:17:02,090
Because of this morning's
dog mishap,

358
00:17:02,190 --> 00:17:03,850
we're a little
behind schedule.

359
00:17:03,950 --> 00:17:05,920
So I've mapped out a tour

360
00:17:06,020 --> 00:17:08,610
of the most amazing natural
wonders you'll ever see.

361
00:17:08,710 --> 00:17:11,090
You'll all have precisely
six minutes at each stop,

362
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:12,580
or I'm taking off without you.

363
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:21,860
[ camera shutter clicking,
camera whirring]

364
00:17:26,390 --> 00:17:27,420
Hi, my name's Chuckie.

365
00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:31,050
I'm, uh, traveling
across the...

366
00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:32,320
Hello, Mike!

367
00:17:32,430 --> 00:17:35,050
[ screams]

368
00:17:35,150 --> 00:17:36,020
[ splashing]

369
00:17:39,740 --> 00:17:43,260
Aah, man, could this
trip get any worse?

370
00:17:43,370 --> 00:17:44,960
BETTY:
Look what we found

371
00:17:45,060 --> 00:17:46,470
in the gift shop!

372
00:17:47,820 --> 00:17:50,200
Matching hats!

373
00:17:50,310 --> 00:17:51,820
Doesn't it
just scream "tourist"

374
00:17:51,930 --> 00:17:54,070
in a tacky yet trendy
kind of way?

375
00:17:54,170 --> 00:17:56,520
Oh, yeah, this will really
help me with the ladies.

376
00:17:56,620 --> 00:18:03,800
[ camera shutter clicking,
camera whirring]

377
00:18:07,290 --> 00:18:09,260
[ all exclaim]

378
00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:12,640
DIDI:
Ah, the Grand Canyon.

379
00:18:12,740 --> 00:18:15,400
You know, Tommy, it takes
four billion years

380
00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:18,260
for Mother Nature to make
a rock tower like that.

381
00:18:18,370 --> 00:18:19,540
And you're gonna
make me stand here

382
00:18:19,650 --> 00:18:22,580
and watch her make it,
aren't you?

383
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:26,790
Kimi, can you try to control
that stinky little mongrel?

384
00:18:26,890 --> 00:18:28,720
It's not my fault.

385
00:18:28,830 --> 00:18:30,380
If Phil didn't carry around

386
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:31,970
his bag of death...

387
00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:34,000
[ dog barking]

388
00:18:36,940 --> 00:18:37,800
Ow!

389
00:18:40,670 --> 00:18:44,460
[ fast music
coming from camera]

390
00:18:44,570 --> 00:18:47,190
Whoa-- I love
this movie!

391
00:18:47,290 --> 00:18:48,120
SUSIE'S MOM:
Movie?

392
00:18:48,230 --> 00:18:49,880
Didi, I thought
the kids

393
00:18:49,990 --> 00:18:52,400
weren't supposed to
zone out on this trip.

394
00:18:52,510 --> 00:18:53,890
Tommy!

395
00:18:53,990 --> 00:18:55,230
I downloaded a DVD.

396
00:18:55,340 --> 00:18:58,680
I needed something to get
my mind off leaving Rachel.

397
00:18:58,790 --> 00:19:00,580
DIDI:
The Grand Canyon
wouldn't do it?

398
00:19:00,690 --> 00:19:01,890
[ Didi's voice echoing]

399
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:05,210
Not like Revenge
of the Crypt Comber V.

400
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:08,380
[ gagging, retching]

401
00:19:08,490 --> 00:19:09,450
Nice work, Betty.

402
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:11,970
From now on,
I pick the lunch spots.

403
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:15,050
Oh, well, look who's
getting all la-di-da!

404
00:19:15,150 --> 00:19:16,010
Fancy girl.

405
00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:17,460
[ whistling]

406
00:19:17,570 --> 00:19:19,740
SUSIE:
Excuse me, but
have you all forgotten

407
00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:21,360
what this trip is for?!

408
00:19:21,470 --> 00:19:22,880
[ Susie's voice echoing]

409
00:19:22,980 --> 00:19:25,190
To make you even more
insufferably perfect

410
00:19:25,300 --> 00:19:26,440
than you are?

411
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:28,990
And to promote
the good work

412
00:19:29,090 --> 00:19:33,060
of America's hard-working
cheese producers.

413
00:19:33,170 --> 00:19:36,580
And it was about us moms
getting closer to you guys.

414
00:19:36,690 --> 00:19:39,410
Well, I'm sick of getting close,

415
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,490
I'm sick of being told
what to do,

416
00:19:41,590 --> 00:19:43,800
and I'm sick
of having a mom!

417
00:19:45,900 --> 00:19:47,280
[ gasps]

418
00:19:47,390 --> 00:19:49,600
[ wind whistling]

419
00:19:49,700 --> 00:19:50,840
Maybe we should be going.

420
00:20:00,540 --> 00:20:05,200
[ rumbling]

421
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:08,060
[ loud crash]

422
00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:16,180
[ fire crackling,
crickets chirping]

423
00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:21,010
What you said to Mom, T.,
about not needing her-- harsh.

424
00:20:21,110 --> 00:20:23,910
Yeah, well,
wait till you're older.

425
00:20:24,010 --> 00:20:25,530
You'll understand.

426
00:20:25,630 --> 00:20:27,840
I will never understand
not loving my mommy.

427
00:20:30,220 --> 00:20:33,260
Hey, you guys going to see
the Curtain of Tears tonight?

428
00:20:33,370 --> 00:20:34,640
I'm trying to catch a ride.

429
00:20:34,750 --> 00:20:36,020
Curtain of Tears?

430
00:20:36,130 --> 00:20:37,270
What's that?

431
00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:39,960
Oh, man, you never heard of it?

432
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:44,240
The story is this Indian
princess, Sowanami,

433
00:20:44,340 --> 00:20:47,210
ditched out on a bogus dude
her dad wanted her to marry.

434
00:20:47,310 --> 00:20:49,100
So her tribe
left her behind

435
00:20:49,210 --> 00:20:50,590
to starve to death

436
00:20:50,690 --> 00:20:53,350
on these red rocks
not too far from here.

437
00:20:53,450 --> 00:20:55,660
Whoa, talk about harsh.

438
00:20:55,770 --> 00:20:58,290
They say she cried
so many tears,

439
00:20:58,390 --> 00:21:00,530
a geyser was made on that spot.

440
00:21:00,630 --> 00:21:01,770
Every year at midnight it blows

441
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:05,710
and you can see the princess
rise in the mist

442
00:21:05,810 --> 00:21:09,120
and hear her screams
echoing in the rocks.

443
00:21:09,230 --> 00:21:10,090
Wow!

444
00:21:10,190 --> 00:21:11,990
Righteous.

445
00:21:14,510 --> 00:21:15,820
Guys, did you hear that?

446
00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:18,200
A genuine apparitional
sighting-- with water feature.

447
00:21:18,310 --> 00:21:19,270
Finally--

448
00:21:19,380 --> 00:21:20,720
something we want to do.

449
00:21:20,830 --> 00:21:21,790
Our moms aren't
gonna let us

450
00:21:21,900 --> 00:21:23,660
go out in the desert
alone at midnight.

451
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,870
Oh, yeah, we might
touch something.

452
00:21:26,970 --> 00:21:30,530
We can always sneak out
after they've gone to sleep.

453
00:21:30,630 --> 00:21:31,870
SUSIE:
Sneak out?

454
00:21:31,980 --> 00:21:33,010
What for?

455
00:21:33,110 --> 00:21:36,290
To see a real live
dead Indian princess

456
00:21:36,390 --> 00:21:37,910
out in the desert.

457
00:21:38,020 --> 00:21:39,020
Sounds epic.

458
00:21:39,120 --> 00:21:41,470
But I don't know
if it's such a good idea.

459
00:21:41,570 --> 00:21:43,750
I gotta sing in New York
in four days,

460
00:21:43,850 --> 00:21:45,780
and I don't even have
my song down yet.

461
00:21:45,890 --> 00:21:47,540
Oh, maybe Susie's right.

462
00:21:47,650 --> 00:21:48,680
We don't even know
how to get there.

463
00:21:48,790 --> 00:21:50,610
We better bag it.

464
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:51,860
DIDI:Kids.

465
00:21:57,380 --> 00:21:58,660
We want to apologize
to you kids.

466
00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:01,250
We haven't been listening

467
00:22:01,350 --> 00:22:02,760
to what you guys want to do.

468
00:22:02,870 --> 00:22:04,630
So tonight we're going

469
00:22:04,730 --> 00:22:06,730
to a real Southwestern fiesta--

470
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:11,290
Fiesta de los Ojos Rojos!

471
00:22:11,390 --> 00:22:15,400
[ mariachi music playing]

472
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:16,430
Uh-huh!

473
00:22:16,540 --> 00:22:17,990
Show me how it's done!

474
00:22:18,090 --> 00:22:19,540
Mom, stop it.

475
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:21,130
♪ ♪

476
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:25,620
[ both laughing,
cajoling in Spanish]

477
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:26,650
Vengan, reinas...

478
00:22:26,750 --> 00:22:28,830
Preciosas...

479
00:22:29,930 --> 00:22:30,930
[ music continues]

480
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:36,280
[ women whooping and shouting]

481
00:22:36,380 --> 00:22:38,110
[ cameras clicking]

482
00:22:39,660 --> 00:22:41,010
Oh, that's it.

483
00:22:41,110 --> 00:22:42,980
We have to get away
from our moms.

484
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:44,390
[ women whooping and cheering]

485
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:52,090
[ snoring]

486
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,310
Does that shirt
make me look fat?

487
00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:07,690
Whatever it is
you're dragging me to

488
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:08,930
better be worth it.

489
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:11,830
ANGELICA:
Whoa!

490
00:23:13,870 --> 00:23:16,110
ANGELICA:
We've been walking an hour,

491
00:23:16,220 --> 00:23:19,190
and I haven't seen
any red rocks.

492
00:23:19,290 --> 00:23:20,880
You've been conned.

493
00:23:20,980 --> 00:23:23,540
[ animal howls, group screams]

494
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:24,470
What was that?!

495
00:23:24,570 --> 00:23:26,090
Nobody worry.

496
00:23:26,190 --> 00:23:27,330
I'm keeping lookout.

497
00:23:30,710 --> 00:23:32,160
Thanks.

498
00:23:32,270 --> 00:23:33,920
It's probably tracking
Phil's bag of bones.

499
00:23:34,030 --> 00:23:37,270
I told you
you should've left that thing.

500
00:23:37,380 --> 00:23:40,410
I did, but you came anyway.

501
00:23:41,660 --> 00:23:43,760
I... I shouldn't be doing this.

502
00:23:43,870 --> 00:23:45,830
The entire cheese industry
is counting on me.

503
00:23:45,940 --> 00:23:48,800
Yeah, I'm sure
whole economies
will collapse

504
00:23:48,910 --> 00:23:52,670
if you don't
sing perfectly
about sour milk.

505
00:23:52,770 --> 00:23:57,020
[ laughter in distance]

506
00:23:57,120 --> 00:24:00,470
[ laughing and talking]

507
00:24:01,780 --> 00:24:03,260
[ engines hum]

508
00:24:03,370 --> 00:24:05,540
[ yawning]

509
00:24:05,650 --> 00:24:08,890
Would you lookee here--
no traffic.

510
00:24:08,990 --> 00:24:13,030
Well, time to rack up
some miles.

511
00:24:14,620 --> 00:24:15,970
[ engine revs]

512
00:24:19,450 --> 00:24:21,320
[ dog barks]

513
00:24:22,490 --> 00:24:26,530
9,625... 26... 27...

514
00:24:26,630 --> 00:24:27,670
DIL:Hey, T.,

515
00:24:27,770 --> 00:24:29,360
meet the Rogers.

516
00:24:29,460 --> 00:24:31,290
Hi.Hi.
Hi.

517
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:34,610
They were cloned
and abducted by aliens.

518
00:24:34,710 --> 00:24:36,060
This place rocks!

519
00:24:37,540 --> 00:24:39,130
♪ When I was a little tyke

520
00:24:39,230 --> 00:24:41,850
♪ I thought there was
one kind of cheese ♪

521
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:43,440
♪ Yellow...

522
00:24:43,550 --> 00:24:46,450
[ humming "Battle Hymn
of the Republic"]

523
00:24:46,550 --> 00:24:50,210
♪ Oh, glory, glory, hallelujah

524
00:24:50,310 --> 00:24:54,280
♪ The cheese goes
marching on... ♪

525
00:24:54,380 --> 00:24:56,350
Angelica!

526
00:24:58,700 --> 00:25:00,560
And then, you see
this bicuspid?

527
00:25:00,670 --> 00:25:02,810
They had to scrape
the gum three times

528
00:25:02,910 --> 00:25:04,640
before it was right.

529
00:25:04,740 --> 00:25:06,090
Which headgear
did they give you--

530
00:25:06,190 --> 00:25:08,400
the G-force twister
or the mandible mangler?

531
00:25:08,500 --> 00:25:10,370
Mandible mangler.

532
00:25:10,470 --> 00:25:12,090
Oh, me, too.

533
00:25:14,230 --> 00:25:15,270
Nice night.

534
00:25:15,370 --> 00:25:16,790
Yeah.

535
00:25:21,550 --> 00:25:22,790
[ loud roar]

536
00:25:22,900 --> 00:25:24,660
[ screams]

537
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:26,350
[ all gasp]

538
00:25:26,930 --> 00:25:30,390
[ faint howling]

539
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:38,770
[ all cheering]

540
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:40,880
Did you see...And the part where...

541
00:25:40,980 --> 00:25:42,950
I know,
and then when the...

542
00:25:43,050 --> 00:25:44,370
I was so close.

543
00:25:44,470 --> 00:25:47,510
I could almost feel her overbite
on my cheek.

544
00:25:49,610 --> 00:25:51,170
SUSIE:
Uh, oh, no!

545
00:25:51,270 --> 00:25:52,340
It's gone!

546
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:54,340
[ all gasping]

547
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:55,510
I don't get it.

548
00:25:55,620 --> 00:25:57,210
The R.V. was right here.

549
00:25:57,310 --> 00:25:59,790
Maybe my mom went
to fill up the tank.

550
00:25:59,900 --> 00:26:01,560
Maybe someone stole it.

551
00:26:01,660 --> 00:26:02,760
The "I Am Crud"?

552
00:26:02,870 --> 00:26:04,140
Please!

553
00:26:04,250 --> 00:26:06,940
Or maybe it's payback
for what Tommy said to Mom,

554
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:09,740
and we've been left behind
to starve to death

555
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:12,840
just like the Indian
princess Sowanami.

556
00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:17,120
How long you think
we can last

557
00:26:17,230 --> 00:26:19,470
if we take turns licking
this fuzzy mint?

558
00:26:19,570 --> 00:26:21,990
Okay, okay, let's not get
all whacked out about this.

559
00:26:22,090 --> 00:26:25,650
We'll just hike over
to the ranger station.

560
00:26:25,750 --> 00:26:26,820
There is a perfectly
good explanation

561
00:26:26,930 --> 00:26:29,580
for this.

562
00:26:31,620 --> 00:26:33,030
I hope.

563
00:26:38,830 --> 00:26:40,970
♪ A hundred cups of Blast
on the wall ♪

564
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:44,180
♪ A hundred cups of Blast...

565
00:26:44,290 --> 00:26:46,390
Rise and shine, buttercups!

566
00:26:46,500 --> 00:26:47,950
[ brakes squeal]

567
00:26:52,500 --> 00:26:54,400
Well, where are we?

568
00:26:54,500 --> 00:26:56,890
Brunswick, Missouri.

569
00:26:56,990 --> 00:26:57,960
Not the home

570
00:26:58,060 --> 00:27:00,610
of the world's largest pecan?!

571
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,450
Yep.

572
00:27:04,550 --> 00:27:07,620
While you lazy heads were sawing
Zs, I covered almost 600 miles.

573
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:08,860
And you know what?

574
00:27:08,970 --> 00:27:10,310
I could do another thousand.

575
00:27:10,420 --> 00:27:11,490
[ snoring]

576
00:27:11,590 --> 00:27:12,940
[ horn honking
"La Cucaracha" theme]

577
00:27:14,140 --> 00:27:15,530
[ snoring]

578
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:23,670
Wakey, wakey, time for cakey.

579
00:27:23,780 --> 00:27:24,530
[ unzipping]

580
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:25,950
Oh!

581
00:27:28,750 --> 00:27:29,710
[ screams]

582
00:27:29,820 --> 00:27:30,850
How's my driving?

583
00:27:30,950 --> 00:27:32,060
We in Missouri yet?

584
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:35,100
Yes, but our kids are
back in New Mexico.

585
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:38,620
Didi, man the map.

586
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:40,170
Lucy, grab me up a cup of joe.

587
00:27:40,270 --> 00:27:42,100
We're turning this baby around.

588
00:27:42,210 --> 00:27:47,040
[ engine chugging]

589
00:27:47,140 --> 00:27:50,010
[ engine backfires, quits]

590
00:27:53,010 --> 00:27:54,810
[ Chuckie moaning in sleep]

591
00:27:54,910 --> 00:27:56,950
[ kissing]

592
00:27:57,050 --> 00:27:59,290
I'm sorry, Susie.

593
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,160
I know you worked really hard
to sing in this parade.

594
00:28:02,260 --> 00:28:04,750
Don't sweat it,
Tommy.

595
00:28:04,850 --> 00:28:05,820
We still got
three days

596
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:07,400
to get to New York.

597
00:28:07,510 --> 00:28:08,820
I'm not worried.

598
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:10,480
Thought you kids
might be hungry.

599
00:28:10,580 --> 00:28:12,930
I'm Ranger Walking Wind
Little Feather,

600
00:28:13,030 --> 00:28:13,890
but call me Claus.

601
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:15,140
Claus?

602
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:17,280
It's easier to program
in the speed dial.

603
00:28:17,380 --> 00:28:19,140
TOMMY:
You know where
our moms are?

604
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:20,380
I've got guys looking
for the R.V.

605
00:28:20,490 --> 00:28:23,280
Won't be hard to find
something that butt-ugly.

606
00:28:23,390 --> 00:28:24,910
[ Chuckie
kissing]

607
00:28:25,010 --> 00:28:26,460
Chuckie, get off me!

608
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:27,460
Whoa!

609
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:29,190
[ phone ringing]

610
00:28:29,290 --> 00:28:31,390
CLAUS:
Ranger Walking Wind.

611
00:28:31,500 --> 00:28:33,910
Uh... Claus here.

612
00:28:34,020 --> 00:28:36,880
Yes, they're
right here.

613
00:28:36,990 --> 00:28:38,020
Mom?

614
00:28:38,130 --> 00:28:41,300
Tommy? Oh, thank heavens
you're all right!

615
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:43,750
I'm sorry.

616
00:28:43,860 --> 00:28:45,890
No, I'm sorry, Mom.

617
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:47,380
Where are you?

618
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:50,240
They're in Brunswick, Missouri.

619
00:28:50,340 --> 00:28:52,970
Home of the world's
largest pecan?

620
00:28:53,070 --> 00:28:55,450
When are you coming
back for us?

621
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:56,350
A couple of days?!

622
00:28:56,450 --> 00:28:58,040
We'll never make it
to New York

623
00:28:58,150 --> 00:28:59,560
in time for
the parade.

624
00:28:59,660 --> 00:29:01,740
Oh.

625
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:03,500
Wow, sorry, Susie.

626
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:04,670
Yeah, tough break.

627
00:29:04,770 --> 00:29:07,190
Where's the nearest
four-star luxury hotel?

628
00:29:07,290 --> 00:29:09,290
I'll take you to stay
with my family.

629
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:12,540
I'm heading up to Raton
for a big intertribal meeting.

630
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:13,710
Hold on, Mom.

631
00:29:13,820 --> 00:29:15,130
Is Raton anywhere near
where our moms are?

632
00:29:15,230 --> 00:29:17,160
It's in the right direction,

633
00:29:17,270 --> 00:29:20,650
but you'd still have
hundreds of miles.

634
00:29:20,750 --> 00:29:22,830
Can we go with you?

635
00:29:22,930 --> 00:29:24,590
We've got to get Susie
to New York

636
00:29:24,690 --> 00:29:26,620
to sing on the cheese float
in the parade.

637
00:29:26,730 --> 00:29:28,800
Susie, Susie, Susie...

638
00:29:28,900 --> 00:29:31,180
What will it take to kill
this can-do attitude of yours?

639
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:34,250
I can get you as far as Denver.

640
00:29:34,350 --> 00:29:35,220
Mom.

641
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:37,430
DIDI:
I heard, and we're sorry,

642
00:29:37,530 --> 00:29:40,120
but we can't let you travel
hundreds of miles alone.

643
00:29:40,220 --> 00:29:41,260
You've got to.

644
00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:43,570
I can't let Susie down.

645
00:29:43,670 --> 00:29:44,780
I can handle this.

646
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:47,500
Oh...

647
00:29:47,610 --> 00:29:48,260
Thanks.

648
00:29:48,370 --> 00:29:50,230
[ group cheering]

649
00:29:50,340 --> 00:29:54,170
LIL:
You're gonna make it, Susie.

650
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:01,210
Do you have that credit card
number your mom gave you

651
00:30:01,310 --> 00:30:02,970
to buy our tickets to Missouri?

652
00:30:03,070 --> 00:30:04,280
Here it is.

653
00:30:04,380 --> 00:30:05,450
As good as money, my man.

654
00:30:10,940 --> 00:30:11,870
[ barking]

655
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:20,810
[ drum beating]

656
00:30:22,130 --> 00:30:23,300
CLAUS:
Good news--

657
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:24,960
I've found you a ride
through the Rockies

658
00:30:25,060 --> 00:30:27,720
that'll get you to Denver,
so here.

659
00:30:27,820 --> 00:30:29,440
What are those?

660
00:30:29,550 --> 00:30:30,650
CLAUS:
Snowsuits.

661
00:30:30,750 --> 00:30:32,580
All the roads to Denver
are snowed in.

662
00:30:32,690 --> 00:30:34,030
You're going by dogsled.

663
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:38,940
[ dogs barking]

664
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:50,460
[ group laughing]

665
00:30:50,570 --> 00:30:53,360
My hair!

666
00:30:53,470 --> 00:30:56,060
[ group laughing]

667
00:31:01,610 --> 00:31:04,510
[ mechanical whirring]

668
00:31:04,620 --> 00:31:05,720
Oh, I'm beginning
to think

669
00:31:05,820 --> 00:31:08,520
letting the kids travel
hundreds of miles alone

670
00:31:08,620 --> 00:31:09,790
wasn't such a hot idea.

671
00:31:09,900 --> 00:31:11,450
Me, too.

672
00:31:11,550 --> 00:31:13,070
My Angelica may seem tough,

673
00:31:13,180 --> 00:31:15,320
but she's just
a scared little girl

674
00:31:15,420 --> 00:31:17,970
with an inflated sense
of self-entitlement.

675
00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:19,600
What do you
think, Didi?

676
00:31:19,700 --> 00:31:22,980
I think Tommy was right
and Lipshitz was wrong.

677
00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:25,840
Sometimes you've got
to give your kids space.

678
00:31:25,950 --> 00:31:28,160
If we did our job right

679
00:31:28,260 --> 00:31:30,950
we've raised bright,
capable children.

680
00:31:31,060 --> 00:31:33,160
ANGELICA:
You've lost the
credit card number?!

681
00:31:33,270 --> 00:31:35,540
How are we gonna
get to Minnesota?!

682
00:31:35,650 --> 00:31:37,030
Missouri.

683
00:31:37,130 --> 00:31:39,060
Whatever M state
our moms are in.

684
00:31:39,170 --> 00:31:40,930
The paper must have
flown out of my pocket

685
00:31:41,030 --> 00:31:42,450
when we were sledding.

686
00:31:42,550 --> 00:31:45,450
10,463...

687
00:31:45,550 --> 00:31:46,760
ALL:
Lil!

688
00:31:46,870 --> 00:31:47,760
Sorry.

689
00:31:47,870 --> 00:31:48,970
Break.

690
00:31:49,070 --> 00:31:50,420
Come on, guys, we can do this.

691
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:52,840
You want to prove
we're grown up,
don't you?

692
00:31:52,940 --> 00:31:54,940
No, right now I'd be happy

693
00:31:55,050 --> 00:31:57,260
having Mom gently
chuck me under the chin

694
00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:58,950
and tell me everything's okay.

695
00:31:59,050 --> 00:32:00,710
Look, I picked up a map.

696
00:32:00,810 --> 00:32:02,500
Now, we're here.

697
00:32:02,610 --> 00:32:03,990
In that state shaped
like a board-game box?

698
00:32:04,090 --> 00:32:06,060
Yes, and our moms are here.

699
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:08,470
In the state that kind
of looks like a shoe?

700
00:32:08,580 --> 00:32:10,540
Yes, all we have to do
is figure out

701
00:32:10,650 --> 00:32:13,440
how to get across that big,
flat state between them.

702
00:32:13,550 --> 00:32:16,000
Don't they teach you
kids geography
anymore?

703
00:32:16,100 --> 00:32:19,550
I have a simpler answer--
give up.

704
00:32:19,660 --> 00:32:22,000
We have no money,
no cell phone,
and our moms

705
00:32:22,110 --> 00:32:23,630
are hundreds of
miles from here.

706
00:32:23,730 --> 00:32:27,530
Face it-- Susie's shot
at the big time is history.

707
00:32:30,010 --> 00:32:32,120
No, I'm
not giving up!

708
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:37,020
I have an idea.

709
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:38,300
[ chuckles]

710
00:32:42,270 --> 00:32:45,030
Looks like we're not
in Kansas anymore.

711
00:32:45,130 --> 00:32:47,440
Nope,
that's Kansas.

712
00:32:47,550 --> 00:32:49,240
Look.

713
00:33:12,230 --> 00:33:13,920
[ chuckling]

714
00:33:14,020 --> 00:33:16,300
That wasn't so bad.

715
00:33:25,170 --> 00:33:27,310
TOMMY:
I found a guy

716
00:33:27,410 --> 00:33:29,620
who said he can take us
to the next town.

717
00:33:29,730 --> 00:33:32,800
We can call our moms from there,
get the credit-card number

718
00:33:32,900 --> 00:33:34,110
and arrange a ride.

719
00:33:36,350 --> 00:33:38,530
TOMMY:
So, let me get this straight.

720
00:33:38,630 --> 00:33:39,770
You have no phones.

721
00:33:39,870 --> 00:33:41,010
No.

722
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:42,360
No faxes?

723
00:33:42,460 --> 00:33:43,220
No.

724
00:33:43,330 --> 00:33:45,160
Not even electricity?

725
00:33:45,260 --> 00:33:49,190
What, are these people
living in the 1800s?

726
00:33:49,300 --> 00:33:50,850
Yes. They're Amish.

727
00:33:50,950 --> 00:33:52,510
They don't believe
in modern things.

728
00:33:52,610 --> 00:33:55,440
Even... blow-dryers?

729
00:33:55,550 --> 00:33:56,370
No.

730
00:33:56,480 --> 00:33:59,100
What kind of nightmare is this?

731
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:01,240
BOY:
E-all booger

732
00:34:01,340 --> 00:34:02,240
taint?

733
00:34:02,350 --> 00:34:03,350
Yah.

734
00:34:03,450 --> 00:34:04,070
Mother took a ride
in the car to Brunswick.

735
00:34:04,180 --> 00:34:05,070
Brunswick?

736
00:34:05,180 --> 00:34:07,070
Big pecan.

737
00:34:07,180 --> 00:34:08,110
Plus the black apron dress

738
00:34:08,210 --> 00:34:09,940
make bed
to the barn?

739
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:11,390
Yah.

740
00:34:11,490 --> 00:34:14,120
After ye throws some cows
over to the fence some hay.

741
00:34:14,220 --> 00:34:16,330
You understood all that?

742
00:34:16,430 --> 00:34:17,190
Yah.

743
00:34:17,290 --> 00:34:18,710
Don't be shushly.

744
00:34:27,540 --> 00:34:28,790
TOMMY:
Mom!

745
00:34:28,890 --> 00:34:31,510
And I'm sick of having a mom.

746
00:34:31,620 --> 00:34:32,790
Bye, Mom!

747
00:34:33,580 --> 00:34:34,830
Hey, T.--

748
00:34:34,930 --> 00:34:36,350
outen the lights.

749
00:34:41,250 --> 00:34:43,180
[ crowing]

750
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:44,700
[ all yawning]

751
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:54,360
Guys, I got us a ride
to Brunswick, Missouri.

752
00:34:54,470 --> 00:34:55,710
Yah.

753
00:34:55,810 --> 00:34:56,740
Big pecan.

754
00:35:05,170 --> 00:35:07,820
I guess this thing
doesn't have overdrive.

755
00:35:07,930 --> 00:35:08,890
Wouldn't be plain.

756
00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:16,040
So, uh...
Esther, is it?

757
00:35:16,140 --> 00:35:17,730
[ giggles]

758
00:35:17,830 --> 00:35:18,770
[ gasps]

759
00:35:18,870 --> 00:35:22,080
Uh, I'll be sitting back here.

760
00:35:22,180 --> 00:35:24,770
You said you'd do it
and you did, Tommy.

761
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:25,840
Thanks.

762
00:35:27,330 --> 00:35:29,610
[ screams]

763
00:35:36,990 --> 00:35:37,920
Ah.

764
00:35:38,030 --> 00:35:39,650
Check it out--

765
00:35:39,750 --> 00:35:41,580
genuine Amish road kill.

766
00:35:41,690 --> 00:35:43,170
All right.

767
00:35:43,270 --> 00:35:44,140
[ animal growls]

768
00:35:44,240 --> 00:35:46,170
[ horse neighs]

769
00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:55,910
Phil, it wants
your backpack.

770
00:36:00,050 --> 00:36:01,460
[ growls]

771
00:36:07,820 --> 00:36:09,680
Phil, he wants
your collection.

772
00:36:09,780 --> 00:36:11,790
Give it to him!

773
00:36:11,890 --> 00:36:13,170
[ growls]

774
00:36:13,990 --> 00:36:14,860
[ barking]

775
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:16,480
Pumpkin!

776
00:36:28,180 --> 00:36:29,940
[ whimpering]

777
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:32,050
[ barking]

778
00:36:33,460 --> 00:36:34,530
KIMI:Pumpkin!

779
00:36:36,910 --> 00:36:37,740
I was so scared.

780
00:36:37,850 --> 00:36:39,850
Are you okay?

781
00:36:39,950 --> 00:36:42,470
I told you guys
he was a great dog.

782
00:36:42,570 --> 00:36:45,540
He tracked us all the way
just to save us.

783
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:52,550
I don't think wehave
anything to do with it.

784
00:37:04,630 --> 00:37:05,940
Who's up?

785
00:37:07,670 --> 00:37:08,810
[ groans]

786
00:37:08,910 --> 00:37:10,840
Guy with the beard
made it sound so easy.

787
00:37:10,950 --> 00:37:13,330
Does anybody have any idea
where we are?

788
00:37:14,020 --> 00:37:17,920
We're right here
on Route 66 North.

789
00:37:18,020 --> 00:37:19,650
Or 99 South?

790
00:37:19,750 --> 00:37:21,750
Two words:
home schooling.

791
00:37:21,860 --> 00:37:23,680
[ wind gusts]

792
00:37:23,790 --> 00:37:25,450
I'm cold.

793
00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:28,450
I'm tired.

794
00:37:28,550 --> 00:37:29,860
I'm thirsty.

795
00:37:29,970 --> 00:37:32,140
I'm ugly.

796
00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:33,520
[ wind whistling]

797
00:37:33,630 --> 00:37:35,800
I wonder what our moms are doing
right now.

798
00:37:35,900 --> 00:37:38,110
Probably worrying
about us.

799
00:37:39,670 --> 00:37:41,630
I bet if my mom was here,
she'd have something to eat.

800
00:37:41,740 --> 00:37:45,710
They always have something
to eat when you're hungry.

801
00:37:45,810 --> 00:37:47,670
Or a sweatshirt
if you're cold.

802
00:37:47,780 --> 00:37:49,950
It's the purses:

803
00:37:50,060 --> 00:37:52,780
Moms are like pack mules
of love.

804
00:37:52,890 --> 00:37:54,920
Guys ever catch your mom

805
00:37:55,030 --> 00:37:56,170
sneaking into your room
at night

806
00:37:56,270 --> 00:37:57,300
just to watch you sleep?

807
00:37:57,410 --> 00:37:59,960
Oh, yeah.
Sure.Uh-huh.

808
00:38:00,070 --> 00:38:03,520
It's creepy but,
like, in a good way.

809
00:38:03,620 --> 00:38:05,520
You guys ever think
what it would be like

810
00:38:05,620 --> 00:38:06,520
not having a mom?

811
00:38:06,620 --> 00:38:08,520
Been there, done that.

812
00:38:08,630 --> 00:38:10,140
I'm sorry, guys.

813
00:38:10,250 --> 00:38:11,870
This mess is all my fault.

814
00:38:11,970 --> 00:38:13,360
I wanted to prove something

815
00:38:13,460 --> 00:38:15,250
and now we'll never get Susie

816
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:17,600
to the Gracy's Day Parade
on time.

817
00:38:17,700 --> 00:38:19,330
It couldn't get any worse.

818
00:38:25,090 --> 00:38:28,780
I... want... my...

819
00:38:28,890 --> 00:38:29,790
mommy!

820
00:38:29,890 --> 00:38:35,140
[ all wailing]

821
00:38:35,240 --> 00:38:39,690
Oh, you preteens are pathetic.

822
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:42,040
I want my mommy's...

823
00:38:42,140 --> 00:38:44,560
credit card!

824
00:38:44,660 --> 00:38:47,770
[ sobbing]

825
00:38:48,110 --> 00:38:50,120
[ horn honking
"La Cucaracha" theme]

826
00:38:50,220 --> 00:38:52,430
Mommy!
Mommy!
Mommy!

827
00:39:00,820 --> 00:39:03,410
Oh, Mom,
I missed you.

828
00:39:03,510 --> 00:39:07,240
Tommy, I'm so proud of you.

829
00:39:07,340 --> 00:39:10,410
Look how far
you came.

830
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:12,350
Huh. No big d.

831
00:39:15,730 --> 00:39:18,560
Okay, everyone, we've still got
four states to cover

832
00:39:18,660 --> 00:39:21,350
if we're gonna get Susie
to the parade on time.

833
00:39:22,940 --> 00:39:24,840
Ah, the "I Am Crud."

834
00:39:24,940 --> 00:39:27,670
It does smell like home.

835
00:39:27,770 --> 00:39:31,780
Hold on, everybody,
we're on Betty time now.

836
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:33,710
[ tires squeal]

837
00:39:33,810 --> 00:39:34,680
[ Pumpkin barking]

838
00:39:34,780 --> 00:39:36,090
Pumpkin!

839
00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:37,130
Look out
for Pumpkin!

840
00:39:37,230 --> 00:39:38,060
[ tires squeal]

841
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:39,200
[ crashing]

842
00:39:39,990 --> 00:39:42,580
DIDI:
Is everyone okay?

843
00:39:42,930 --> 00:39:43,860
You sure?

844
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:44,830
Okay.

845
00:39:44,930 --> 00:39:46,720
Yeah.

846
00:39:49,240 --> 00:39:50,970
They can't get anyone
out here till tonight,

847
00:39:51,070 --> 00:39:54,110
being the day
before Thanksgiving.

848
00:39:54,210 --> 00:39:56,870
It just doesn't look like
we'll make it in time.

849
00:39:56,980 --> 00:39:59,670
I'm sorry, honey.

850
00:39:59,770 --> 00:40:01,980
Maybe you can
get in the parade
next year.

851
00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:04,740
But we worked so hard
to get here.

852
00:40:04,850 --> 00:40:07,920
We came so close.

853
00:40:08,020 --> 00:40:12,680
I memorized
357 kinds of cheeses!

854
00:40:13,850 --> 00:40:17,200
[ sobbing]

855
00:40:17,310 --> 00:40:19,830
What are you people? Quitters?

856
00:40:19,930 --> 00:40:22,240
I didn't ride
dogsleds, balloons

857
00:40:22,350 --> 00:40:24,520
and live without
a blow-dryer
for three days

858
00:40:24,620 --> 00:40:26,700
to give up now.

859
00:40:28,010 --> 00:40:28,870
[ whistles]

860
00:40:28,970 --> 00:40:30,110
[ tires screech]

861
00:40:30,220 --> 00:40:32,390
We need to get
to New York

862
00:40:32,490 --> 00:40:34,530
and you are gonna
to get us there.

863
00:40:36,260 --> 00:40:39,950
What are you waiting for?

864
00:40:40,050 --> 00:40:41,740
DIDI:
"Clifford,
California,

865
00:40:41,850 --> 00:40:44,470
onion capital
of the West."

866
00:40:47,890 --> 00:40:49,230
[ all sniffling]

867
00:40:50,820 --> 00:40:51,930
PHIL:
Wait, I gotta go
to the bathroom!

868
00:40:52,030 --> 00:40:54,340
[ tires screech]

869
00:41:00,140 --> 00:41:01,450
[ tires screech]

870
00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:05,870
WOMAN:
After everything
you did to get here--

871
00:41:05,980 --> 00:41:09,460
especially riding in
an onion truck for 14 hours--

872
00:41:09,570 --> 00:41:11,840
the parade committee
wanted to reward you

873
00:41:11,950 --> 00:41:12,880
with special
luxury suites--

874
00:41:12,980 --> 00:41:15,880
on us.

875
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:25,270
Ew!

876
00:41:25,370 --> 00:41:29,100
Boy, people sure are
snooty around here.

877
00:41:29,210 --> 00:41:33,000
[ laughing]

878
00:41:33,110 --> 00:41:36,390
PHIL:This isso cool!

879
00:41:37,730 --> 00:41:40,490
Angelica, I just wanted
to say thank you.

880
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:42,500
You didn't have to do
what you did

881
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:45,950
and, well, it was...
amazingly out of character.

882
00:41:46,050 --> 00:41:47,400
Well, I can top it.

883
00:41:47,500 --> 00:41:48,330
You're welcome.

884
00:41:48,430 --> 00:41:50,780
One question:
why?

885
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:53,640
Because I know that
if I ever got a chance

886
00:41:53,750 --> 00:41:55,750
to sing some cheesy song
on national television

887
00:41:55,850 --> 00:42:00,510
for hundreds of millions
of people around the world,

888
00:42:00,620 --> 00:42:02,790
I'd want you
to have my back.

889
00:42:02,890 --> 00:42:06,660
Hundreds of millions?

890
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:08,310
[ moans]

891
00:42:08,420 --> 00:42:10,700
And somehow thatmade it
all worthwhile.

892
00:42:11,630 --> 00:42:15,360
[ marching band playing]

893
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:26,780
Man, I
can't believe

894
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:30,370
with the entire United
States at our feet

895
00:42:30,470 --> 00:42:32,510
you couldn't get
one girl to kiss you.

896
00:42:32,610 --> 00:42:34,820
Oh, don't feel
so bad, Phil.

897
00:42:34,930 --> 00:42:36,790
I've decided it's
not that important.

898
00:42:36,890 --> 00:42:39,100
I mean, after
all the exciting
stuff we've done

899
00:42:39,210 --> 00:42:40,410
the last couple of days,

900
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:42,380
kissing a girl
just doesn't seem

901
00:42:42,490 --> 00:42:44,560
like that big
a deal anymore.

902
00:42:52,050 --> 00:42:56,360
[ cheering]

903
00:42:56,470 --> 00:42:59,400
This one's for Tommy.

904
00:43:01,750 --> 00:43:04,510
♪ When I was a little tyke

905
00:43:04,610 --> 00:43:05,720
♪ I thought there was
one kind of cheese ♪

906
00:43:05,820 --> 00:43:07,720
♪ Yellow, waxy,
wrapped in plastic ♪

907
00:43:07,820 --> 00:43:10,620
♪ Or in a can
you can squeeze ♪

908
00:43:10,720 --> 00:43:12,650
♪ Then one day
my mama slipped me ♪

909
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:14,450
♪ Some domestic mozzarella

910
00:43:14,550 --> 00:43:16,590
♪ And all at once I knew

911
00:43:16,690 --> 00:43:19,730
♪ There's more cheese than
American cheese in America ♪

912
00:43:19,830 --> 00:43:23,150
♪ There's provolone,
mascarpone ♪

913
00:43:23,250 --> 00:43:24,700
♪ Bleu and brick and Brie

914
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:27,290
♪ 17 cheddars
from mild to sharp ♪

915
00:43:27,390 --> 00:43:29,220
♪ And a feta from Mississippi

916
00:43:29,330 --> 00:43:31,400
♪ Maytag Blues from Iowa

917
00:43:31,500 --> 00:43:32,950
♪ Monterey Jack's out West

918
00:43:33,050 --> 00:43:35,330
♪ But if you like your cheese
all molded and green ♪

919
00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:37,470
♪ New Jersey Gorgonzola's
the best ♪

920
00:43:37,580 --> 00:43:39,470
♪ The Italians call it
formaggio♪

921
00:43:39,580 --> 00:43:41,510
♪ In France they say fromage♪

922
00:43:41,610 --> 00:43:42,680
♪ But give me ricotta
from Duluth, Minnesota ♪

923
00:43:42,790 --> 00:43:44,580
♪ And all the rest is garbage

924
00:43:44,690 --> 00:43:46,960
♪ Now, don't get me wrong

925
00:43:47,070 --> 00:43:48,720
♪ I'm not knockin'
that plastic yellow stuff ♪

926
00:43:48,830 --> 00:43:51,800
♪ But there's just more cheese
than American cheese ♪

927
00:43:51,900 --> 00:43:55,210
♪ In the country
that I love! ♪

928
00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:56,210
[ song ends]

929
00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:59,320
[ cheering]

930
00:43:59,420 --> 00:44:03,080
It was definitely
worth the drive.

931
00:44:04,430 --> 00:44:05,400
Whoa...

932
00:44:05,500 --> 00:44:06,640
[ screams]

933
00:44:08,230 --> 00:44:09,400
[ gasps]

934
00:44:12,780 --> 00:44:13,650
Whoa!

935
00:44:27,590 --> 00:44:31,910
One... two... three...

936
00:44:33,390 --> 00:44:35,290
ALL:
♪ Take one down,
pass it around ♪

937
00:44:35,390 --> 00:44:38,050
♪ 99 cups of Blast
on the wall! ♪

938
00:44:42,810 --> 00:44:45,920
[ horn honking
"La Cucaracha" theme]

939
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:27,930
PHIL:
Moms are like pack mules
of love.